Sitting in the Covid/ICU is a stressful place to be, with all the constant loud beeps, alarms and occasional Christmas tune filtering in. It is no fun. This is not a job for the faint of heart, one must be flexible and resilient to do this kind of work day in and day out. You also need a servant heart for this kind of work.
All the personal protective equipment (PPE) is a pain in the patootie to wear. We have to change into OR scrubs just to go into the unit. Then there is the shoe covers, N95, surgical mask, gown gloves and face shield.....sheesh. This all has to be put on just to go into your patient's room to do anything. Then change and redo just to go into your other patient's room. Off/on/off/on LOTS of hand sanitizer and hand washing all day long. You get pretty warm and kind of smelly by the end of the 12 hours. Our poor patients also have a hard time hearing us through everything so we end up yelling towards them all day.
It is also hard to hurry into a room if a patient is dropping their oxygen saturation or crawling out of bed just because of all the garb we have to put on. Stress level rising.
Today I did not have an attitude of a helper. I felt more like crawling in a hole and covering my head up......shhhhhh just go away! Covid 19 has been horrid and brutal on all of us, patients and staff. The poor patients and their families have suffered terribly with the no visitor restrictions we have enforced. It is a sad day when a patient is dying and no family is allowed in. We as nurses, techs and respiratory therapists sit with them and hold their hands until they pass. No one dies alone on my watch. I have shed tears for my patients during these times. I have also shed tears with the families while consoling them on the phone, really hard to do.
I do not feel like a hero, just dong my job. I can also say that as healthcare workers we are tired and really stressed out. I say that but I also know that we will all be there day after day to hold those hands and to care for our patients. We will adjust and take care of business just as we always do.
I just want people to know that when I wear a mask in public or around my family it is out of respect. I am protecting you from me. If I had Covid 19 and gave it to my grandson or his Mimi, I couldn't forgive myself. I have seen first hand what this horrid virus does to a compromised person and even healthy people, I don't wish that on anyone. SO please consider where I am coming from when I wear my mask, be careful not to judge. My mask-my choice. Let's all just hope and pray that this virus goes away, I am scared it may be awhile before that happens. We all need prayers for strength and safety. We ALL need God.
